#4 Change

There are a few things in this word that I love more than my bed.  Maybe freshly washed sheets, my comforter, my faded red sheets and my cozy pj's.  I am a homebody.  I like to hide my head under the covers and sleep life away.  I will sleep for hours sometimes, content to live in a complex dream world.

Pisces.

I am a big believer of ebbs and flows.  You see this in shopping malls all the time.  The mad rush of people all clamouring to get around the corner in Ikea and then nothing.  Open space.  My Ikea strategy is the same as my life strategy: find a cozy bed in the corner, hop on it, and wait out the storm.

There is a storm coming.

A few years ago I recognized this storm.  I was working at job that was going through a lot of change, at a time where everyone in the world decided that they needed to see around the other side of the corner.  I hid. I thought, "This is someone else's journey, this has nothing to do with me. I will just stay here with my head under the covers.  The storm will pass and I will be left untouched."

The storm came and tore me apart.

I call those the awful years. I did a lot of things in the years that followed to put myself back together. I thought that if I was more of a complete person, change couldn't hurt me ever again. I was wrong. Change isn't the rain.  You can't just hide under the umbrella when it comes for you.  Change is a virus.  It starts small, a handshake in the hallway, laughter over your meal. It picks up steam by taking people that you love away from your workplace (and onto bigger and better things).

It gets to you from outside your skin and inside your bones.

I've had a lot of fun these last few years. I do feel like more of a complete person. I feel more secure. But I'm not caviler about it as I once was. I know that this has nothing to do with how prepared I am.  Rather, the outcome of my experiances will be determined by how fast I get on board.