#15 On Loneliness

I've been musing over life. I guess it tends to happen this way when you go from having zero free time to a lot of time on your hands. And what of it?

It seems that the human experience is not so different between us. We all want love, passion, friendship, comfort, adventure. We all feel a bit stuck, even when we are moving. This is a good feeling and it should serve to keep you motivated. Everyone wants to find a piece of themselves in the world, a little bit of happy.

There is an emotion that I don't understand: loneliness.

Why do we feel so empty even when we are surrounded by people who love and care for us? What's the point of this emotion? Should we accept it and try to understand it like we do with anger? Should we search for where it comes from like happiness, only with the intention to steer clear rather than attempt to replicate it? Should we search it out, or ignore it like jealously, knowing it will pass?

It makes me feel uncomfortable, knowing that I feel lonely. It mashes into feeling ungrateful since I have no reason to feel this way with all those who love and support me. It forces me to look inside at why, when I'm comfortable in my own skin, keeping my own company.

Is loneliness just lonely too?

#14 On new boots

I bought a pair of boots 5 years ago. They cost me $160, the most a piece of clothing has ever cost me. They were beautiful. They fit my runner's calves, and the zippers up the sides were very unique. I could wear them over jeans.

In the time I had them, I had them fixed 4 times. First some wobbly heels, then the soles started to talk back. After that, the wobbly heel just wouldn't quit, and finally a few months ago the glue separated from the soles and boy did they talk...

This was a huge problem for me over the last few months. I kept on debating between: do I pay the $40 to fix them again, knowing that they fit, knowing that one day they will break, or do I make peace with the time we've spent together and buy another pair?

My mom and I both tried to repair the talking soles with industrial strength floor glue. She tired first and they held for about a day. We thought, it's just the weather. Edmonton had gotten a huge dump of snow, more in that week that it has had the previous winter. So I tired and again, it worked for about a day, until the weather decided to test them.

During this time, I continued to wear them, wobbly heel and poor attitude and all.

Last week I decided to go looking. I checked 7 stores. Out of those 7, only 2 could fit me (wide feet/calf runner). Out of those two, there was only 1 pair that had what I was looking for: calf height, stretchy, leather, flat riding boots.

So I bought them.

Then my right hip started to hurt. Then my back. Finally I realized it wasn't my new boots, it was my old boots. I had developed a walk to compensate for the wobbly heel. These shoes were not broken. They didn't have a heel. I didn't need to compensate. I could just walk normally.

I was walking around with a broken shoe. Having fixed it. Having replaced it. I still had the jaunt.

When someone asked me if I was excited about moving on I would say: I'm too busy to be excited. Or, ask me tomorrow, I will have an answer for you then.

This is because I have been waiting. I have been waiting to wake up one night and "reality" to hit me. I have been waiting for my other voice to be right. The little bitch inside me who told me, you're such a silly girl, you're just reacting. You will be on the plane and it will hit you, just what an insane thing you are doing. You will fail. Again.

And yet, I'm almost to Milan. Ive done 14h and have 7h more to go. And I'm not panicking. Not when I didn't understand how my bag would go through customs, not at the 3 hour long security lines, not when the only working ticket machine stopped working.

Instead I feel strangely normal. I felt relief at not having to explain why I needed to physically go to the gate before I ate. My mind was just about to formulate the thought when it realized it was unnecessary. So instead I got a table for 2: my Backpack and I, in the fanciest restaurant in the airport. It was nice spending $12 on a ridiculously expensive (but boy was it good) glass of wine. It was nice because I wasn't calculating.

On my journey here, for the first time in a long time, my first compulsion was to do the healthy thing. Eat a salad. Who cares if it costs $12 and you just eat the beans and tomato. You don't have to finish it. In fact, you don't have to check your messages on your phone either.

It doesn't feel like a huge accomplishment, it just feels like my life. The same feeling you get when you brush your teeth. You just line up for the gate.

At one point I heard all the Italian around me and I braced myself. This is it! This is the moment when you realize what you're doing!

But I knew what the girl was asking her friend. She was wondering why the rows of baggage were one behind the rows for sitting. And I just turned to her and explained it in English. It was fine.

Both shoes are still there.

It turns out that I have 2 boots firmly planted on my feet, and one of them is not about to drop after all.




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#13 Time

Last night I had a dream that I was driving with good friend of mine who I had lost touch with.

I was giving directions on a road that we had travelled many times.

In my head, it was the first times and I made my first time jokes.

This person wasn't impressed. "We took this road together all the time".

But I didn't remember. Hazy memories maybe, faded, I had to pull them up.

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#12 The truth about relationships

My intention was never to be here when I set off. As much as people have said, "well you've hinted". Or, well, "I knew you were going to do that because of the way your eyes twitched a little too much when you said the words". Or, "this was all planned and calculated simply because you are still moving forward and have not collapsed". (I have). I didn't draw it out to be like this and then follow a map to the end. I had no idea that it would be this.  I plead the 5th.

"This simply isn't good enough! Who are you to trade your life like Pokemon cards? How is that fair or just or considerate of the human race's rules? There must be some underlying factor, some traumatic event that happened to start all this.  It just doesn't add up."

To that I say, maybe we are just using the wrong science. Instead of maths, maybe we should take a look at chemistry.

Have you ever filled up a bowl with water and put 2 drops of ink inside and watched what happens?



You can do nothing to stop the blue from permeating the water.

The water will never be clear again.

A few months ago, one of my best friends announced that he was separating from his wife. They had been married less than 2 years.

I promptly wanted nothing to do with him or his wife. I told him there was no excuse for that. He should have done more work. He should have read more books.  He's smart, well-educated, connected. How could he not know what he was getting himself into? Didn't he know that marriage was a virtue?

Oh, and what about the children?


In the end, they sorted things out. He made peace with the changed water. He liked how his kids smiled at him.  He liked how his fishbowl looked in a certain kind of light. The colours came together and they look pretty together.

My fishbowl isn't pretty.  That's not just being vain and it not being good enough or what I expected.  As if I was some child who was disappointed in a Christmas present. No matter how many conversations, counselling, really listening (as opposed to fake listening), trying harder, being patient, being better somehow... something that we're not, is going to change that.  The water changed and neither one of us liked what it became.

No one would ask you to wear a sweater you hated every single day for the rest your life because you took it home from the store.  You wouldn't tell someone to undo the thread and make a vest with it, just because that thread was once really beautiful.  Holes in it from here or there are fine to patch up. A zipper, some buttons and clasps.  But not the whole thing.

I've been debating about posting this because at the end of the day it really is no one's business.  But part of this project is being truthful and being open and honest.

I looked up virtues.  There are 130.  Marriage is not one.


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#11 Loss

If I could teach a child anything about love, it is that you will lose it. It could be in the form of a favourite toy left at the school yard, a best friend going to another class, or a great love. You will never get away from this, no matter how old you are or how much you try.

That uncomfortable heartbreak feeling that you get when you lose something.  This is an emotion that we like to hide in our North American society.  We cry behind closed doors.  We cry in the bath.  We don't understand grief.  We're taught that it will go away. Does anger ever go away?  Happiness? Joy? Heartbreak? no.  They are always with you, and you need to cope.

Everyone deals with loss differently.  Some people throw themselves into work.  They plan.  They organize papers, maybe even a great adventure.  Other people lie face down in their covers and stop going to work. They drink.  They don't eat. They don't call their friends.

I am a planner. I am a fixer. I like to give advice. I like to throw myself into projects and do things.  This allows me to feel like I'm in control.  This allows me to accomplish.  I feel proud of myself and I think, why didn't I do these things a long time ago? I glow. On the outside, I look happy. I look free. I run on adrenaline.

But as much as you try, you can't organize yourself out of mourning.

Grief will still come for you.  You will meet her in the middle of the afternoon one day when you're on the phone with the bank. You will be on hold and then a song will play in the background, and even though you have never heard it before you will smile slightly at a stupid lyric and then someone else's smile will pop into your head and then you will hear their laughter. And you will realize that you had almost forgotten the sound.  You will be paralyzed, unsure whether to hang up the phone and wait for another 30 minutes or take your chances that you will have to wait another 10 for the representitive. You will try to distract yourself with math equations and statistics.  But you don't stand a chance.  She will find a way down the sides of your face and from your heart, and you will hope that the person on the other line just thinks that sobbing is your regular speaking voice.

You will read all the articles. You will listen to a great song.  You will fill your time with friends and family and laughter, drinking wine until you fall asleep.  You will go back and forth in your mind justifying and bargaining and wishing that you both were the people you want to be. Then you will find the one song that you feel exactly defines you in this moment in time and you will listen to every day.  Then the next, and the next.  Then all the songs. Until Justin Bieber starts sounding good.

Don't be surprised when it hits you in the middle of sunny day, when you're finally by yourself, just walking home.

I remember when my brother was little, he had bear.  He loved this bear.  I bet you that he could remember its name, although I can't. We forgot it at the park one day, and by the time we realized and had gone back for it, it was gone.  I remember talking about lost things with my brother when we were teens and he sighed and looked sad and forlourn and told me that he still remembered this bear.  I was surprised, you see.  I didn't think that the bear meant that much to him. I didn't think that he would have remembered.

But we remember.

We have to.  We have to hold onto these things, at least partly, so that when grief slips her fingers into ours as we are crossing the street, we are not overcome with emotion hunched over by the traffic lights.  We must think, oh yes, I remember you.  I remember you when I lost my teddy bear.  I remember you when I lost my grandfather.  I remember you when I lost my high school sweetheart. I remember you when I lost my best friend.

My mom always told me that life is change. How well you succeed in your life relates to how you accept the changes that occur (whether you are the creator or not). Some people carry around all their memories and all their hurt and pain in order to protect themselves from these changes.  They pack these pillows around themselves just in case they fall one day, in order to recognize Grief with binoculars when she comes from miles away.  This is called baggage.  It won't protect you.  It's just heavy on you, and on the people around you because they are always walking around it.

You need to move carefully with loss. Recognize her.  She will check in on you from time to time just to make sure you are still alive. Greet her as a friend, give her a moment, and keep on walking.

#10 Do. Believe people who do.

Everyone has heard the old adage, actions speak louder than words. Have you ever thought about what that means?

When we learn how to speak, it's a huge milestone in our lives. We are taught to repeat, repeat, repeat. Red, round, ball. We value words. We tell our friends we love them. They repeat these words back to us.

We live in a written world. From texts to advertisements and commercials to contracts and forms, we are taught to value the written word. We are handed promises by companies showing us what our life could be like with them. Our eyes widen and we stare at the glossy magazine pages with the hope that we could be that beautiful.

We go to meetings and write 160 emails a day that convey exactly what we want to say. Many of these could even include a well intended, we should have coffee soon, except we never do.

We are slutty.

We give it up so easily! A few written promises, a few whispers of I love you in the dark. But really, look around, it's how we are programmed. It's how our lives are rewarded.

Someone says I love you and you're supposed to repeat it. That's what you and I were trained for.

But in reality, actions are what counts in our lives. Actions aren't given awards, actions aren't really remembered for weeks. Actions are the bricks that your house should be built on. Words and phrases are all the Ikea stuff inside. Promises are your new kitchen renovation.

Think about whether you do or if you talk about things you're going to do. Fight for people who do the same.





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#9 Breathe

Once of the most important things to master in life in breathing. 

It sounds simple, but it's not. 

As a child you are slowly taught how to speak.  You make sounds and those sounds are celebrated.  You make small words and the people around you light up with joy.  You are slowly forming sentences and your parents take you around their work to show off your skills. 

No one teaches you how to breathe.  

You need to do it immediately and you need to figure it out fast. 

Sure, you can go to classes if you really want.  Yoga is amazing and powerful in this way.  But, if you're not so inclined, you don't have to.  

You can live your whole life not knowing how to breathe.  

Breathing is the most important thing you can do for yourself. 

Take a second now and practice. 

1. Close your eyes and imagine being on a warm beach 

2. Breathe in and while you do, imagine that you can smell salt water and suntan lotion (5 seconds)

3. Breathe out and while you do, imagine that you have warm sun on your skin (5 seconds) 

4. Breathe in and while you do, imagine that you can hear children playing (5 seconds)

5. Breathe out and while you do, imagine that all the tension is slowly leaving your shoulders (5 seconds)

6. Breathe in and while you do, imagine that all the tension is slowly melting off your back (5 seconds)

7. Breathe out and while you do, imagine that all the tension is slowly melting off your neck (5 seconds)

8. Breathe in and while you do, expand your stomach to make the biggest stomach possible (5 seconds) 

9. Hold this breath and give your stomach positive self talk 

10. Breathe out and while you do, let the breath sink slowly out of your belly (5 seconds) 

Tell me how it goes. 

Did you visualize a red ball anywhere there? 

#8 It's OK

When you're in the medical field you have to make decisions on the fly, you must not wait. You can't look for more proof, more information, weigh pros and cons, ask your friends, ask your parents, and then sleep on it.

If a Dr. did it like this, we would chastise her and say, "why are you taking liberties with that patient's life?"

But yet this is how we make decisions in our own life. We think of them as precautions, but are they really? Are all these steps really necessary for you to be ok with the decision, or do we take them for other people? In order to say, but look, look at all the work I did, look at all I thought I had.

No one is in your brain, your life, but you. You can make a decision based on 60% of the information available and that's ok.

Learning to trust your intuition comes with knowing its ok make a decision based on how you feel. Maybe someone wouldn't understand, but at the end of the day it's your life not theirs.

Don't let someone take liberties with the decisions in your life, especially yourself.

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#7 Take What You Need and Leave the Rest

A few years ago, my friend gave me some life advice.  She told me, take what you need from people and leave the rest.  If someone is giving you advice, take with a grain of salt.  Everyone will listen to what you are telling them and reflect it to their own life. They will immediately think of how they would react in that situation.  Maybe your friends advice isn't the right thing you need to hear.

Travellers also use this concept to increase their own karma. You see it in a lot of global village mentalities.  People look after themselves in order to further their journey. They take experiences, they take pictures, they take opportunities to the fullest.  If there is something that doesn't suit them, they let it go.

In little ways we do this all the time.  We support each other through it.  We say, "don't worry about that co-worker, don't carry her hate with you, just let it go." We teach people to brush little hurts off every day.

I don't know why this changes when it comes to bigger things in life.  Jobs, relationships, family.  In the big ways we say, just stick it out. We advise each other to look at the big picture. We warn each other that we've made a commitment.

You aren't allowed to bounce from one thing to another. As if life was a house, and the experiences you have when you are of a certain age are had in the bouncy castle in the backyard. You're allowed to bounce, but only in the castle.  You can only have 30 minutes and then you have to join the party inside the house. You have to do your hair and put on your party dress and learn how to walk in heels.

No heels in the bouncy castle. It might deflate.

Did you know there are a million bouncy castles in the world that no one even knows about? They are thick skinned and can handle stilettos.  I didn't know either. I am on a mission to find them now.

#6 Little Whispers

I was told once, nothing is significant except for the significance you give it.  This goes along the same bumper sticker statement as, if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

If someone accomplishes something significant but no one is around to give them a gold star, is it any less significant? No.

I was thinking about decision I made a few weeks ago and I clicked the wrong button on my laptop and suddenly my iTunes came on, and it was this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axb2sHpGwHQ

We should just stop teaching children life lessons and hand them a pile of bumper stickers instead.  They can play a life long matching game between what they are going through and a phrase.

We are all the same.

#5 Time Happens

Sometimes when you need to make a change in your life, things start to fall into place and you get excited and start to move forward.  Then things start to stop.  

 When you first set out on your journey, you didn't know what you were doing anymore than you knew what you were doing in the middle of the journey.  You were just putting 

one step in front of the other and were excited to start.

What changes is the adrenaline starts to lower and the fear sets in.  The fear blinds you.

People start to think, "oh I don't deserve this" or "things will just fail anyway". 

They feel that the fear is something bad and they let it control them. Then they blame God when nothing changes. But, unknown to most of us, when you have fear about something it means you're on the right track.  It means that you just need to take steps forward anyway and continue. 

Sometimes you need to realize how far you've come instead of how far you have to go. A funny thing will start to happen.  Time will pass in the background.  The days will go by whether you feed into fear or whether you don't.  

It doesn't really matter if your technique is to meditate on your feelings or create pro's and con's lists, or state "what's the worst that could happen?" 

What matters in the end is that you continue to move. What matters is that you recognize that real change is going to be uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, we're all in our little feet powered Flintstone's cars.  You need to peddle ahead... who knows, you might just end up rolling down a fantastic hill. 

#4 Change

There are a few things in this word that I love more than my bed.  Maybe freshly washed sheets, my comforter, my faded red sheets and my cozy pj's.  I am a homebody.  I like to hide my head under the covers and sleep life away.  I will sleep for hours sometimes, content to live in a complex dream world.

Pisces.

I am a big believer of ebbs and flows.  You see this in shopping malls all the time.  The mad rush of people all clamouring to get around the corner in Ikea and then nothing.  Open space.  My Ikea strategy is the same as my life strategy: find a cozy bed in the corner, hop on it, and wait out the storm.

There is a storm coming.

A few years ago I recognized this storm.  I was working at job that was going through a lot of change, at a time where everyone in the world decided that they needed to see around the other side of the corner.  I hid. I thought, "This is someone else's journey, this has nothing to do with me. I will just stay here with my head under the covers.  The storm will pass and I will be left untouched."

The storm came and tore me apart.

I call those the awful years. I did a lot of things in the years that followed to put myself back together. I thought that if I was more of a complete person, change couldn't hurt me ever again. I was wrong. Change isn't the rain.  You can't just hide under the umbrella when it comes for you.  Change is a virus.  It starts small, a handshake in the hallway, laughter over your meal. It picks up steam by taking people that you love away from your workplace (and onto bigger and better things).

It gets to you from outside your skin and inside your bones.

I've had a lot of fun these last few years. I do feel like more of a complete person. I feel more secure. But I'm not caviler about it as I once was. I know that this has nothing to do with how prepared I am.  Rather, the outcome of my experiances will be determined by how fast I get on board.

#3 Share Feelings in Good and Bad Times

People get tattoos every day.  They get massive tigers and lions on their arms, or skulls across their backs, or faith marked into their wrist.  All mothers cringe and all fathers sigh.

People get married every day. They choose someone that means something to them. Bright and colourful and taking a stand for love.  All mothers cringe and all fathers sigh.

People cross roads every day.  They wait patiently for the cars to go by so that they can dart across the street. I lost a shoe crossing the road today.  It was too small for me anyway.

People think of metaphors everyday.  Depending on how they are feeling, someone can see a plastic bag flowing in the air and think that life is beautiful. Not I.

People love every day.  They have something inside them that calls longingly, hauntingly. Decisions are made in the haste of the moment not the journey.  Delightful.

What prize do you win at the very end?

Those carnival prizes are only worth their weight in promise. You only ask for the prize at the top because of how it looks compared to the other prizes.

Except that I don't.  I go for the elephant.  Bright grey and old soul.

Haiku.

#2 Do Something.

If God came to you at 6 years old and told you that your purpose in life was to be an architect, would you immediately beg your parents only for Legos? Would you not waste time with childish things like water fights as they did not pertain to architecture? Would you never buy a fantastic pair of heels that didn't fit and wear them once to a fantastic party full of people who would not advance your career at all?

I think that people who think they know what they want for the rest of their life are liars. What is the point of thinking of one or two things to spend a whole life striving for?

Life doesn't work like that.  You can't make a list of all the things you want to do in life and start crossing them off thinking that at the end of the crossing off you will be done. That you can settle into your little cave knowing that you 'lived life' (check) and now can have some semblance of comfort and security.

What is your heart telling you?

For the last few weeks in yoga class I tried to feel the Earth under my feet as I normally do.  I couldn't get balance.  I couldn't feel the energy of the class.  Tonight I went to a restaurant with a cobblestone floor and my heart fluttered.

My heart is a chicken. Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, why not?

#1 - Truth

The first time I saw Eat, Pray, Love, it took me a week to get through it. I watched it in pieces, never quite able to believe her adventures. It was the only thing on TV and I put it on in the background while I cleaned the house. I shook my head a lot, looking at my grey curtains and patting myself on the back for purchasing such perfect material to hang on my windows. I could not tell you how it ended.

Today I watched it and wanted to crawl into the TV, curl up and sleep. I didn't have anything to distract me as I glanced at my list and started to think about it. 

This list was supposed to be about truth.  My truth.  The things that I desired to do and see in my life.  The change I wanted to create inside of myself. And that truth is not going to happen if I talk about how I want to donate my clothes or categorize my CD's. 

I fear that someone is not going to like what I say.  That I am going to hurt someone's feelings. My truths are my favourite black and white socks.  They are shoved to the bottom of my sock basket and they don't match any one of my shoes. Every day I sift through the basket and my hand touches my socks and I pause.  I always think that I should buy a pair of shoes that matches them, but I don't.  I'm afraid to wear them you see, I'm afraid to wear them out. 

So this is what I am working on. #1. Tell the truth. 

Adventures in Spain

25. Teach English as a Second Language

29. Eat only Spanish food for 1 week

On August 7th, 2012 I went to Spain with my mom to volunteer to teach English in a large group of other Anglos from around the world and Spaniards. Going into it I thought that we would be talking about grammar in a relaxed but classroom setting.  It wasn't.  When we first arrived on the site, I looked around at this group of 52 people and thought, "how am I going to talk to all these people?"  As we arrived, the other group was leaving.  I saw them all hugging and crying and laughing together and I was filled with hope that our group would end up being like that as well. It was. 

The experience was amazing to say the least.  The people were the best part.  On day one everyone was very nervous but by lunchtime we were all joking and laughing together.  I think people felt more open as we were strangers.  Everyone wanted to be there and be involved.  I heard stories of life, religion, politics, accomplishment. I felt like I really got to know other areas of Spain just by talking to the people.  It really felt like I was at a family reunion where I was meeting fellow travellers and people who want more from life just like me.  My kin. I can't explain the people.  It is what it is. 

In regards to my other experiences there, I learned to think about my language differently.  In English there are a lot of expressions like, "let's hang out," or, "it's ok, we'll wing it." I was laughing all day long when I realized that most of my conversations are expressions and not actually concrete statements.  One of my friends recently told me that I tend to speak in riddles.  Thinking before I said something was a challenge but I loved it. 

The whole experience was like a summer camp for adults.  I didn't know that such a thing existed. 

Coming back to reality was very difficult. That's the thing about travel.  When you travel somewhere you always come back with 7 more places on your list.  I was looking at my 101 things list and I think I have some changes to make. A lot of them are good ideas, don't get me wrong.  However I want to give more back to other people.  I want my actions to matter.  I'm trying to take the same care in how I chose my words in La Alberca as I choose my actions in my life. 

#22 | London Calling

So, why British food?

First of all, a society that has been around since the 15th Century has bound to have some amazing ideas.  Second, a place that has such great fashion sense must have a way to keep it all in check.  But most importantly, when I was watching Eat St. - London Edition (drooling over fresh bread pudding, scotch eggs and custard tarts) I started thinking about how British food is really opposite from what is considered normal in Canada*.

Here, we are encouraged to choose low-fat, low-sugar, low-carb foods. We eat fruit salads for breakfast, spinach salads for lunch and chicken with salad for dinner.  Pie is saved for a special occasion and accompanied by wistful sigh, "wow I haven't had pie in forever." In England, you can have 3 pie's a day: fruit pie for breakfast, egg pie for lunch and sausage pie for dinner.  Most of the people I know save their bacon & eggs for once/week. But across the ocean they add bacon everything.

Speaking of bacon scones,  Londoners have a set time a day where they relax, eat delicious pastries and drink fresh teas.  That's almost polar opposite to our society where we skip afternoon breaks, are afraid of pastries in general, and administer coffee intravenously in our veins.**

My Canadian-turned-British friend Erin confirmed my slowly forming theory of what makes British food so darn exciting,  "the thing about British food as well is that its all locally grown - all the berries, all the meats, eggs, butter, fish, etc.  Loads of farms develop their own butters and milks and stuff. Its really nice actually because they have old fashioned butcher shops, old fashioned veggie shops, etc. Its nice to go to the market and get loads of your food from the market stall." 

Fresh.  Locally grown.  Unprocessed. Protein & fat that keeps you full. After all, isn't that all the rage these days? I have a hunch that with any foods, portion size is key so I will try to be modest with this adventure.  Who knows? Maybe I will get so sick of pie that I will never want it again?

 (Did I mention that I'm going to attempt to make this gluten free?)

So, can you really have your pie and eat it too? That's what I plan on finding out.

Food Research (possibilities):

Breakfast 
Traditional British Breakfast 
Apparently Cornflakes

Lunch 
Hot Fish Loaf
Gluten Free Scotch Eggs
Gluten Free Meat Pie

Sunday Lunch Roast Beef & Gluten Free Yorkshire Pudding

Tea 
Gluten Free Custard Tart 
Scones w Clotted Cream & Strawberry Jam
Gluten Free Four Fruit Pie
Gluten Free Strawberry Tart

Dinner
Gluten Free Sausage Rolls 
Gluten Free Melton Mowbray Pork Pie
Curry Chicken

Dessert
Milk Pudding
Eaton Mess

*I know that part of Canada's charm and perfection is how we share our diverse cultural backgrounds with each other. But our peers and co-workers encourage us to eat diet foods (have you actually tried PopChips? They are not the same as chips).  Our friends say things like, "oh, you must have mistakenly chosen the full-fat sour cream, don't worry I have some low fat at home" (True story). We celebrate when we find a new diet yogurt flavoured like pie.  This discussion in itself may have to be an entire blog, or Masters Thesis. Maybe after this 101 things.

#102. Name a street.

Dear blogger world,


I will keep this one simple.

#102. Name a street. Blame my weird request on completing my "list of things to do before I die".   Will they think I am dying? Aren't we all dying, one day at a time? Am I no better than a celebrity who uses their status to get things they want? (African children).

Ok, maybe that's a little deep.  I knocked on a bunch of wood and got a splinter.

Hello Stef,              

Thank you for your email of 2012.07.20 regarding Street Names.

The City Planner, Cory Sousa contact is 780-496-6226.

Please be advised that you can research the information online:

www.edmonton.ca > City Government > Urban Planning & Design > Planning > Naming Committee Process >

Once again thank you for taking the time to email us.                                                          

Regards,                    

Gabrielle

311 Contact Centre

Email: 311@edmonton.ca

Good things! Now, to think of names. 

The List

The List:

1. Create a blog about my 101 adventures
2. Post about these adventures at least once a month
3. Complete a full dinner for more than 6 people 
4. Buy a pet (Big Turtle & Little Turtle)
5. Loose 5lbs/month for 4 consecutive months (0/4)
6. Write 5 short stories (1/5)
7. Drink only water for 30 consecutive days (30/30)
8. Actively self-publish a book  (this means binding, and soliciting business to sell it)
9. Write a kids children's cartoon book
10. Organize & complete year end accounting for Guillard Fabricators SOLD
11. See a musical
12. Go to the 3 great zoo's of Alberta (Edmonton, Calgary & Drumheller) (0/3)
13. Go to the Edmonton Symphony
14. Run a 10km race
15. See a play at the Fringe
16. Learn how to use an SLR camera
17. Learn to cook (Pasta)
18. Visit the Devon Botanical Gardens (Visited Gardens in The Gardens of the Regal Palace of Turin)
19. Bind a cook book - Project FaceCook.
20. Actively participate in a sport, club, exercise classes/activity
21. Wear each article of clothing once during 1001 days or donate. (Have a wedding dress party) (donated/sold)
22. Eat only British Food for 1 week (Figure out what clotted cream is - thick cream)
23. Learn how to make pierogi. Fill with Custard (don't tell mom).
24. Have a wine tasting party.
25. Teach English as a Second Language
26. Make a YouTube Channel and record 5 videos   (0/5)
27. Visit the Calgary Stampede
28. Purchase prescription sunglasses 
29. Eat only Spanish food for 1 week
30. Become and English teacher
31. Can 10 jars of home made tomato sauce for winter (0/10)
32. Learn how to make gluten free pasta from scratch.  Have people over to celebrate.
33. Send a secret to post secret.
34. Go on a girls trip (Venice 2013)
35. Send an anonomous gift to 10 friends in the mail (10/10)
36.  Re-learn Greensleeves for Dad's wedding
37. Go tubing down pembina river.
38. Complete an adult basic wardrobe.
39. Go to Jasper.  Hike a trail up to a lake.
40. Learn how to make bread
41. Visit friends in Lethbridge.
42. Create a spare bedroom with an actual mattress (not a futon), plants, and a reading nook.
43. Plant a herb garden 
44. Take a course, get a certificate(TESOL, Cambridge English Testing)
45. Volunteer 10 hours towards a kids charity (2/10)
46. Run a 1/2 marathon in a city I've never been to
47. Throw a pie in someone's face
48. Read 20 of the best sellers on the 2000 - 2012 best sellers list (2/20)
49. Go for a run in every single one of Edmonton's parks.
50. Organize a charity event
51. Go paperless - get all bills online and automatic
52. Buy art from Edmonton's Art Walk
53. Learn how to dive (I've given up) Build a webpage and start an online business copywriting
54. Start a composte.
55. Eat 1 salad/day for 60 consecutive days (60/60)
56. Publish a book with all those delicious salads.... salad Journal.
57. Eat the 25 Best Things to Eat in Edmonton 2012. (Turin)
58. Sky Dive.  (Just don't think about it until later)
59. Visit Saskatchewan
60. Pay off all debt
61. Wear only high heels for 30 days (not including bare feet @ home) 0/30 (why?! This is so not me) #Get a pedicure with those fish that eat your feet.
62. Learn how to use essential oils (tea tree, peppermint) (Thank you Orietta!)
63. Get my home and workplace cleansed 
64. Get a massage 
65. Give all hand made gifts (that people would want to have) for Christmas
66. Send friends birthday cards
67. Set up a "listening station" at a Cafe for 2 days from open until close (apx. 12h/day) *This one is on hold until I get back to Canada, it won't work in Italy. Plus, I do conversational classes, which is sort of like this.
68. Upload all CD's & DVD's to some organizational system (external hard drive) [Donate them.  After 1001 days, no more CD's & DVD's]
69. Go to a fancy wine and cheese dinner
70. Start a non for profit charity (English in the Park, Turin)
71. Go to a spa.  To which I mean a real spa not just to get my nails done. (Budapest Spa!)
72. Take an Italian class. Learn Italian.
73. Learn how to make Pad Thai
74. Eat "street food" fruit on a stick
75. Make a dinner party contest (5 dinners, 5 weeks, every person puts in $50, winner gets $250)
76. Go ice fishing
77. Complete firearms license renewal
78. Make a perfect chocolate soufflé 
79. Spend an 8h period only singing instead of speaking
80. Be 15 minutes early to everything for a 30 day period (keep count) #30daynewhabit (I have to be now, I'm a teacher)
81. Pay library fines.  Use library at least 50 times (10/50) (move to another country and get a new card)
82. Make photo Christmas cards and send to all contacts (also get an updated address book) (2013!!)
83. Just give up being the "winner" in a lovers quarrel.  Let it go. 
84. Go on a kayak adventure
85. Go White water rafting
86. Name a street
87. Volunteer at a charity race at a cheer station
88. Upload every single photo owned on Flicker and hope that Flicker never goes out of business (Google)
89. Put loose photo's in an album
90. Make a big wooden box to store all journals from high school/jr high and put a huge lock on it... put lock in safety deposit box so that children can never witness the angst that was teen Stefanie
91. Take a creative writing class
92. Take a ride on Edmonton's monorail (Turin)
93. Make iced cream out of coffee cans and a soccer game
94. Buy real winter tires, not just all seasons Take online courses to further Education (Enrolled)
95. Buy 20 umbrellas.  Stand outside, downtown, in the rain.  Give them out as a random act of kindness.
96. Donate kids toys to a charity
97. Get a bikini wax (I just need to know what the hype is about, don't worry I won't post pictures)
98. Go on a cruise
99. Be a kick ass MC at a wedding 
100. Assist in helping cross things off someone's 101 list. (5 things)  (3/5)
101. Make the right choice in a tough decision

102. Start a volunteer organization for students (English in the Park) 
103. Add experience to writing, translations 
104. Found a writing exchange program for students (Italian/English exchange)
105. Learn how to make bread from scratch 
106. Learn how to make tortillas from scratch 
107. Start over 
108. Get a pet (Turtles!) 

Introduction (& a little history too)

I love writing.  I used to have a blog years ago, by blog I mean online journal of my deepest fears and feelings shared by only a few people. I use the term 'journal' loosly and wonder if there were a term for a 'messy emotional rant'. I thought editing was cheating, making yourself look glossy and put together like models on a magazine cover. I would hope that I have grown up a little since then. I am still known to go off on tagents and I enjoy a run on sentence much more than the average person.  But how are you going to get better if don't practice?

I thought of some of the blogs I love to read and wondered if anyone else struggled with this same issue. Jacqui, one of my dear friends described her own blogging journey to me and I knew I was not alone. She said, "I used to blog mostly as a shared diary of events... now I try to blog with a broader theme that appies to anyone who might read it and it's simultaneously much more challenging and rewarding."

So by (some might even say divine) inspiration, my new project started to take form.  I thought of things that I am interested in. Cooking, travel, photography, crafts, writing, research.... everything.  So how do you write about everything?

I rstumbled upon an interesting idea from The Simple Dollar  about organizing your thoughts into managable tasks. For the person who wants to write about everything the first step is to write it all down.

The 101 Things in 1001 Days - Adventure

The Inspiration: The "Bucket List"
Over the last few years, I've been fortunate to cross a few major things off my "bucket list". I've gotten married, ran a 1/2 marathon, took Personal Training at NAIT, started to practice hot yoga and travelled across the country. Looking at my list in recent months, I've noticed that most of the things left are travel themed. I know that I will go to Greece one day, and Fiji, and Hawaii, and Tokyo, and Alaska. Trips like those aren't going to happen in the next 5 yrs and I'm not about to quit the job I love to blog "Eat, Pray, Love".(Except I did.)

I created a list of all the things I want to accomplish in the next 2.75 years. But then, on November 11th 2012 my marriage dissolved and by December 1st 2013 I was living in Italy working as an English teacher. 

Things change. This blog is about all the lessons I'm learning as I'm fumbling through this adventure of life.