#35 The Green Grass

Recently I've been having conversations with my friends on the other side of the ocean. My feeling of wanting simmers gently inside me. It's the feeling of not doing enough.

If I'm here, I'm not there.

If I'm here, I'm not somewhere else.

If I'm here, I'm somehow wasting my life.

Sometimes I feel like someone else would have lived my life so much better than me. Isn't that a horrible thing? But it turns out, I'm not alone. Many people feel this way. If you're building a house, you're not travelling. If you have a child, you're unable to pack up and leave. If you've left, maybe you're living in a different country but you're not doing the travelling you wanted. If you're travelling, maybe you're scraping by and won't have money saved for retirement.

I've seen an interesting meme lately. As cute and reassuring it is, it doesn't stop the fact that every person (that I've talked to anyway) has moments of wanting. Has moments of feeling like they are not doing enough. That they should be doing more.

But where does that even come from? Why do we feel like we need to have so much, be so much, do so much?