But recently it's dawned on me. The reason why is because we have different brains. I feel that women are so muddled emotionally, that it takes years to work through all that shit. For me, it took years of self indulgence, years of, I need to record my every thought, say my every thought, have long drawn out cups of coffee and get it all out to realize that I just didn't.
It took spending some time with British people where they scale everything way down. Things aren't awesome and fantastic over on this side of the ocean. Things are good and not bad and not the worst... and that's set a standard to have my emotions cleared away. Stopped me from thinking about things so emotionally and now... I can actually focus on the important things. The things that actually need to be done.
That being said, I still am me. I'm very self indulgent emotionally, I always have been. I've been quite content to sit in my own sadness for months. To make my life into extreme highs and extreme lows in order to feel a sense of accomplishment from the highs.
But now, I'm actually accomplishing things. And it's the funniest thing: I don't feel a need to talk about my emotions anymore or to get it all out.
Moksha Yoga teaches that in order to use Yoga properly you mind calm your mind. But it's impossible, because your mind is the ocean and you're trying to calm the ocean. In order to do this, you reflexively look down... have you ever looked into the ocean? There are fish down there! And sharks! And wonderful coral reefs, all trying to co exist. But to meditate is to be on a boat in the ocean and focus on the boat. Understand that your thoughts will always be there, your emotions. But in the end, you have to accept them as they flutter by and move on. Focus on what's important now.
And this is why boys have it easier. Boys can just be on a boat.
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