It's really easy to distract yourself from things that you need to do. Right now, I need to drink a beer. But I won't, because I am trying to rid myself of the awful 3rd day depression that comes from drinking. After my last post, I managed to "just have 3" pretty much all weekend. So really, Sunday was day 1. That was two days ago which means that today and tomorrow are the problem days.
This is the day that has been coined by a friend of mine: the blooze. It's the depression/anxiety/self-talk day that follows the day, that follows the day after drinking. It's the day you don't expect it and thus, it's hard to see the pattern.
It's not getting blacked out drunk that's my problem. It's the steady stream of distraction. It's a few beers everyday or every third day. I even scheduled a private lesson on Wednesday nights in order to get my mid-week buzz. Honestly, that's why I choose Wednesday.
Tuesday would be a better day as I don't have to get up early on Wednesday morning. But, Wednesday is exactly between Sunday and Friday thus, if I have a few, I can maintain that perfect blood to alcohol ratio without tipping anyone off.
My Self is patting me on the back for being so honest, but my Ego is terrified right now. I'm just going to post this anyway, and then see if I can push it out of my memory.
On the same topic, I've just read this article and am still in a little bit of denial that they are talking about me. So I guess if later in life, I go further down the rabbit hole I can say with some certainty that at 29 years old, I saw it coming.
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